Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
