Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
