Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
