Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
soo... how was my night?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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