Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
is it fun? or sober?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
