Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
