Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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