i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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