I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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