if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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