Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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