Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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