You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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