everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
