Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Randomize
