return my video game
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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