he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
