i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
