Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
