Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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