this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
