So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
