id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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