we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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