Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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