my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
