ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
