There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
