By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
