Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
