"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
