Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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