wat bout pragnant strippers??
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
