Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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