He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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