Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize