Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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