it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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