She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Randomize