please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize