just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
