is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
