She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
