Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
