you didnt know i had herpes?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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