is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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