omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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