i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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