im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
