She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
