I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
