I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
