I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
