i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
