Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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