Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
