He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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