So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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