She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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