ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize