Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
