I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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