U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
